Decorative Flower
Her Realm, Personal website and blog of Cole
Nov 13

Dear Mr. Trump

Mr Trump,

My 10-year-old cousin recently informed me that one of his classmates gleefully told him that you were going to “rape” my cousin and “cut off [his] penis” because he’s Asian. Presumably, this student is parroting someone — a parent, an older sibling, a teacher or another trusted adult in their lives — who supports you. Presumably, this person believes that you find these words and possibly those actions permissible if they don’t believe you outright encourage them.

Of course, there’s no way you could be knowledgeable about this specific incident, but it does paint a stark portrait of the currently-unraveling moral fabric of American society. While you claim to have no knowledge of any (increase in) such harassment during your recent 60 Minutes interview, you damn well should. In fact, I’d consider using your hallmark retort, “You’re fired!” in the direction of any an all staff on your social media team who hasn’t informed you of the current state of affairs.

Opening any social network will result in a barrage of posts from people — women, Muslims, Hispanics, African Americans, Native Americans, Asian Americans and members of the LGBTQ community to name just a few – who are on the receiving end of similar threats from those who believe your presidency will result in the removal of these people from their homes and communities and physical harm to their person.

I have heard stories of

  • Women being eyed up by strangers
  • Women being sexually assaulted
  • Women having their crotches grabbed
  • People being physically assaulted
  • Muslims having hijabs torn from their heads
  • Muslims having glass bottles thrown at them
  • Muslims being spat on
  • More people than ever feeling free to use the N word
  • Muslims having gasoline thrown on them
  • Teachers having to remove students of all ages for harassing and threatening other students
  • People being threatened with future rape, deportation and assault
  • Vandalism of religious sites where people of color attend

The possibility and promise of harm coming to people has forced Muslims to not wear hijabs and Democrats to remove bumper stickers lest someone use those artifacts to identify them as a target for whatever reason, even if that reason is completely bogus.

Anyone who looks remotely “brown” whether they’re Hispanic, Indian or Native American could be the next person assaulted or threatened as the hundreds upon hundreds of reports on sites like Why We’re Afraid depict. Even if those people are here legally or were born in the United States and have never known another home. Even if those people might actually be Trump supporters themselves; although, it’s not hard to see why so many of them aren’t.

So, President-Elect Trump, it’s not good enough for you to say you have no knowledge of these incidents. It’s not good enough for you to halfheartedly say people should leave Muslims and Hispanics alone. You must vocally let your followers know that you do not, have not and will not condone such actions. You must stand up for women, the LGBT community, Muslims, Jews people of color and anyone else who might find themselves at the ire of vociferous and dangerous Trump supporters.

And whether or not you condone these actions, your own actions have led people to believe that you do. Mr. Trump, there is a reason why people feel like it’s okay to act out like this now, and many of those people have used your name as an excuse for their poor behavior. You won the election, and it was like a switch was flipped. Bigots, racists, homophobes and other xenophobes suddenly felt the compulsion to threaten and assault other people.

What’s more, they felt they had permission to do so because you have won the presidential election.

It seems to me that you have a lot of power even now, months before you’ll be inaugurated, and if you truly want to bring this country together, you’ll take responsibility and use that power to take a stand against these actions.

But both you and I, Mr. Trump, know that you won’t.

 

 


Nov 07

Why I Hate Every Character on Felicity

Last month, I decided I wanted to watch something new. I tried a few shows that weren’t so recent, but most of them hadn’t aged well. Felicity was of show of which I’d heard, but with which I wasn’t familiar. It’s recent enough to remain watchable, and there are only four seasons. It would be easy enough to finish before the end of the month.

At first, I identified with studious and somewhat naive Felicity, who was romantic enough to spontaneously follow a boy across the country where he was attending college.

The first season was dramatic but interesting enough to continue. Before long, however, I felt myself feeling loathing toward every.single.character on this god.damn.show. Let me tell you why.

felicity cast

I hate you all.

Felicity Porter

Like I said, I liked Felicity at first. She was a little serious, but I figured her character would grow and get over her obsession with Ben. At first, this happened. She started dating her RA, Noel.

However, Felicity turns out to be the most wishy-washy, passive person I’ve ever met. She keeps falling into situations because she’s just to befuddled to take control of her life. And when this happens? You guessed it! She takes no responsibility.

After four years in college, pretty much all of her character development is wiped clean. Ouch!

Ben Covington

Ben is the jock whom Felicity follows to New York despite the fact that they only spoke once during four years of high school in California.

Ben is without an anchor for much of the show; although, he eventually finds some meaning to his life. However, this doesn’t negate the issues that I have with Ben and the actor’s portrayal.

First things first. What’s with the god damn whispering voice? I didn’t notice it in the beginning, but it becomes more and more distinct as the series goes on. It makes me want to inflict violence.

Secondly, Ben has a serious anger problem. It’s touched on once (barely), but no one seems to care that Ben has gotten into fights with all his friends, his peers from school and others.

He constantly fucks Felicity around, which is something that other characters mention, but Felicity denies time and again.

Noel Crane

Noel is the RA whom Felicity dates for a short period of time – until he decides he might want to get back with his ex, and Felicity has sex with another guy from school. Don’t worry, though. Eventually, Noel sleeps with Felicity.. while she’s dating Ben.

Noel does have a lot of good traits. He’s smart and caring. He also suffers from the affliction Know As Nice Guy syndrome. He whines about finishing last when Felicity chooses Ben. But Noel is no saint, and he can never quite seem to get his shit together. Which is weird considering how together he is when we first met him.

Julie Emrick

Julie is Felicity’s first friend after arriving at college, and it’s a match made in heaven.. until Julie develops feelings for Ben. And though Julie tells Felicity nothing will happen of it, they sneak around behind Felicity’s back until she finds out. They date for a while, but it doesn’t work out for god-knows-what-reason.

To be fair, I don’t hate Julie. I feel bad for the little adopted girl who meets her birth mom and can’t have the relationship that she desires with the woman. It’s sad, but she’s also naive. Julie’s stint is short-lived. I imagine there must have been a money issue or scheduling conflict because they kind of just write her out based on that naivety.

Sean Blumberg

If there is a character on this show that I hate the most, it’s Sean. I hate Sean so much that I just seeing his face angers me, and I previously liked the actor on other shows. Sean is a few years older than the college kids in Felicity, and I can’t recall if he want to school himself. He owns/rents an apartment that he sublets to Ben throughout the four years. Julie, Noel and other characters also crash with Sean for a while.

Sean is aware that hanging out with these youngers kids is odd, but that’s all the self-awareness that this bloke can muster. He fancies himself an inventor, especially of foodstuffs, but no one has the heart to tell him that he shouldn’t quit his day job (which he doesn’t have, anyway, and the lack of money comes up more than once). Sean flits between get-rich-quick-schemes without realizing that he’s wasting time and money (both his and others’).

Eventually, Sean winds up focusing on a documentary of Felicity and co, and there’s initially some interest. However, he once again puts all his eggs in one basket and winds up with nothing. Surprise.

I think we’re supposed to feel bad for him when we meet his dad who happens to be just as useless. I get it. He can’t help it. Fuck off. Yes he can. Be a god damned adult you piece of shit.

Meghan Rotundi

Meghan is, initially, Felicity’s roommate. She’s a Wiccan, goth and also a bitch. She gives no fucks and seems to be the most genuine of the characters. We don’t like Meghan so much as a person but as a character? She’s golden.Eventually, she and Sean hook up and

Eventually, she and Sean hook up and wnid up dating, and she moves in with him and his roommates. Megan slowly-but-surely loses her edge and becomes one of Felicity’s most supportive friends. This plotline could have been done worse, but it also could have been done better. I suspect Meghan was never intended to be more than a foil, and the writers had trouble fully fleshing her out.

Elena Tyler

Elena is a strange character, and I never much liked her. Initially, she lived on Felicity’s dorm floor. They became friends, and eventually wind up becoming roommates. Elena is the stereotypical angry black girl, and maybe it’s that box that I just don’t dig.

Elena also consistently makes piss-poor decisions regarding men, first sleeping with a professor, dating someone who has made it clear he doesn’t want sex before marriage, walking out on her own wedding, leading on an overweight-but-nice guy and finally leaving him for her ex.

Javier Quintata

Javier is Felicity-then-Ben’s boss at a coffee shop. He befriends the group, and he mostly exist for comic relief. He’s a stereotypical gay man with both the lisp to prove it and a Spanish accent. While often a sweetheart to Felicity, Javier asks for favors that no one should ever ask (will she marry him for a green card, will she be his surrogate, etc) but gets away with it because he’s from another culture – and funny.

Much of Javier’s plotline has to do with his relationship with his support boyfriend-turned-husband, but then they suddenly split. There’s no reason for this except to allow Javier to spend more time with the college kids whom he employs.

Ruby

Ruby doesn’t even get a last name, guys! She doesn’t have a lot of other things either: a voice that doesn’t grate when she speaks, a face worth looking at or chemistry with Noel, with whom she’s involved. Intelligence also seems to be lacking on that list. What a winning combination!

Edward Porter

Felicity’s dad is a an overbearing monster who becomes a fucking mess. Get the fuck out.

Trevor

While Trevor is played by the adorable Christopher Gorham, he’s an idiot who furthers the plot for Ben slightly.

Barbara Porter

Felicity’s mom is the reason her dad becomes a fucking mess. She’s just as overbearing and pretentious as fuck. Die in a fire, will you?

Andrew Covington

You know when an actor you like plays an asshole? That’s John Ritter as Ben’s alcoholic and abusive father. We see a few episodes featuring Andrew in the later seasons. Trust me when I say you’ll wish he dies. (He doesn’t)

Richard Coad

The final wanker on this list (although far from the last character on this show who makes me seethe) is Richard. He’s a fellow student on Felicity’s dorm floor in the first year, and he tries to blackmail Noel into giving him perks lest he expose Noel and Felicity’s relationship.

Eventually, Richard falls in with Sean while he’s making the documentary, and the pair invade other peoples’ personal space in a way that’s mostly certainly illegal by 2016 standards. Toward the end of the show, Richard proves he’s an ignorant, hurtful racist but, for some unknown reason, Elena forgives him.

Richard was always intended to be annoying and he is – in spades!

I think it’s fair to say that I also hate the writers of Felicity – and the stylists. I loved Felicity’s curly hair but, slowly and then all-at-once they decide she suddenly needs to straighten her hair and wear a ton of makeup. It may represent some of the cultural changes happening at that time, but it’s disappointing.


Oct 22

Today By the Numbers

Just a few of the things I’ve done.

  • 1916 words written
  • 1400 points earned (on Dealspotr, of course)
  • 16 fields created in Ingress
  • 9 miles walked
  • 4 chapters read
  • 3 pieces of french toast eaten
  • 2 friends visited
  • 1 blog posted!
  • 1 basket of laundry folded and put away (maybe..)

 

 


Oct 08

4AM Thoughts About Life

Life is just, like, this thing. Fleeting and fragile. Terrible and ridiculous and better than you could ever imagine.

And you get no say in whether you have to deal with life, what you get dealt or when it’s going to end.

It’s just so overwhelming ,you know?

But life, I don’t know, man. We’re here and it seems like the only logical way to deal with it is to enjoy the fuck out of it.

If you don’t, I’m not sure I can consider you sane. That’s not politically correct, but it would be crazy to be anything other than happy when it takes just as much effort to be miserable.

Maybe I’ll change my mind when I’m dealt another bad card or have to deal with a struggle I didn’t see coming, but for now, I’m just going to live life.


Sep 02

Being an Extrovert is Weird

Summer is rapidly coming to an end, and although I feel like I’ve been incredibly busy, I haven’t done much to write home about. I spent a weekend in Milwaukee, but haven’t gone to any cons. There’s been a few day trips, some game nights, many long walks with friends, Pokemon Go playing and eating out. It was all fun. There was laughter all around, but nothing stands out.

Perhaps that’s because I’ve been doing so much of it. I am currently in the midst of being the most extroverted I’ve ever been. It’s awesome but so very weird.

I recognize that being able to socialize with people, both en masse and so frequently, without needing to head home and check out for several days or hours is directly related to my anxiety being at an all-time low. I can’t argue that this is a bad thing. It’s really quite wonderful.

But it’s weird that I can more easily talk to strangers and feel more comfortable in certain spaces. That I can meet up with new people with minimal anxiety and spend hours socializing without feeling the need to end it is amazing. I’ve spent a lot of days with multiple social interactions, something that would’ve been highly unlikely if not impossible a few years ago. It does have me questioning whether my introversion was something that stood on its own of or if it’s something of a side effect of my anxiety.

A few weeks ago, I assumed that I would eventually feel more anxious and introverted  and that all would come crashing down, but while I have a hectic schedule, I seem to have found some balance. I’m not so worried about the other shoe dropping.

Although, I still do enjoy and feel energized by my down time, it’s not as necessary as it once was. In fact, I need to remind myself sometimes to do other things that I enjoy that have taken a back seat to socializing. This weekend I plan to play video games, take walks, catching up on blogging and read.. all by myself. Not having any work until Monday certainly makes this easy. Of course, I’ve already seen friends and added other things to my schedule, but I never realized how many hours were in a day until I paused from filling them all up.

So, you know, if you want to do something, I’m probably down.


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