I’ve been trying to plan some rather large birthday events, which I hope would be a smashing success. The reason I want to do this is simple: my birthdays in the past have so rarely worked out that I want to make sure this year is the one. To this end, I’ve planned three things. Originally, I wanted it to be four, but that’s just not working out.

Since my birthday falls on a Friday, I planned Friday evening bowling that would be family friendly, including my own. After, I want to go to a bar where I’ll get free drinks with a friend who has the same birthday. Saturday evening, I’ve planned to have a game and drinking night at my house with people who were interested. I figured with the variety of options, I’d be able to invite people who might have trouble making arrangements for their children, provide a weekend full of fun that people would be able to work into their schedules and find something that everyone would enjoy. I pretty thoughtfully sent out invitations to the events via Facebook and, then, texted people to let them know about the event in case they don’t tend to look at them or missed it.

I thought that, maybe, the RSVPs would start rolling in, but fewer than a third of people I’ve invited to any of the events have said they’re going. Some people have said they’ll go to X event but won’t do X, which is super annoying. I got a whole lot of “Maybes” and even someone who RSVPed after telling me she probably couldn’t show up. Logistically, it’s a nightmare because I have no idea how much food or refreshments I’m going to need.

But emotionally? It’s a bummer. Some of my very close friends won’t be there because they’ve made plans. some of those plans happened before I sent the invite, but I consider these people close enough that I’m a little shocked and completely disappointed that they made plans on my birthday or after I sent the invite. It makes me feel unimportant to them, even though I know there may be other logical reasons and that these people might care in their own way but just can’t give me this one weekend out of the year.

Still, it’s hard to be positive because the people who have said they’ll show up are a group of people with whom I worry I’ll be uncomfortable around en masse.  One of the people who won’t be able to make it is exactly the sort of person who can diffuse that sort of situation.

Nevertheless, I know I’m being dramatic. I think it’s that hormonal time of month that’s adding to it, and I have nothing to convince me that I won’t have a good time or that people won’t surprise me. Furthermore, plenty of people have RSVPed to everything, which should make me feel loved. A single day — or weekend — doesn’t negate all my existing friendships. In fact, my birthday might come and pass and it’ll be a blast and I’ll forget all about my anxieties, which often happens.

I just need something to distract me until then.

I love Carrie Underwood

She makes me feel so good

I have purchased a PlayStation 3.. and I love it. It’s absolutely going to change my life. It already has, in fact. However, the process has been the catelyst to several weird, frustrating and otherwise stupid tech problems in my life.

First, I got the PS3 set up but the actual console was sitting a little too far forward in my TV stand, so closing the door turned it on.. and somehow the game started playing, so when I turned it off.. it wasn’t happy. After powering it back on, I received a notice that it wasn’t powered off correctly and it had to check for corruption on the disk. Everything worked okay, though. However, it did reset some settings, so I had to fix those.

Then, I was trying to set up a media server through WMP. Although I don’t use it, this seemed like the easiest method to use. In fact, it is; but it’s only that easy when you have the PS3 and your laptop hosting the media server on the same network. Oops.

However, network problems quickly arose when I started my computer this morning and it wouldn’t connect to the same network that it’s been on since I moved in here. I could sign on at a guest, but there was some generic error whenever I tried to sign in to the secure network. Oddly enough, both my phone and Ps3 were connected just fine. Later, I started up the computer and it wanted a password, so now I’m signed in just fine.

Nevertheless, my issues don’t stop there. Crazy, I know. When I first connected the PS3 to my TV, it worked right away. I was using the same HDMI cable that I always use with my laptop, but I couldn’t get it to connect for the life of me this weekend when some friends were over. It kept telling me that there was no video signal, even though my laptop clearly connected one. This occasionally happened but I was able to fix it by restarted the computer or switching HDMI ports in the past. Nothing worked at all, so I was surprised when the PS3 started right up with no problems.

That is, until.. I turned it on and the TV wouldn’t register a signal for the life of it (me?) . I figured it must just be the HDMI cable, which is easily replaceable. I grabbed the AV cable that shipped with the PS3, figuring I could just use it in -gasp- SD for the time being. But you know what the fuck happened? No, you don’t! That’s why I’m going to tell you.

The TV wouldn’t detect any signal through the AV cables, either! In either port. So, I don’t know what the hell the problem is. Maybe something’s loose in the television itself, but sometimes all the ports seem to just.. stop working. It’s super annoying but it’s also random. I gave up and plugged the HDMI cable back in.. and the damned thing started working randomly. It cut out when the cat walked by but everything’s been fine since a friend nudged it just a bit. Obviously, the whole thing is stupid, but as long as I’m able to stream movies from my laptop (see above), then I don’t need to touch the system itself or cable.

So, let’s cross fingers that my problems are solved.

I don’t think that tomatoes get a fair shake. You see, it’s a fruit that isn’t sweet, so people treat it like a vegetable. However, it doesn’t seem to stack up against other veggies. I single-handedly know more people who dislike tomatoes than any other vegetables, which is a shame. It’s one of the few “vegetables” that I can stand. A few one a sandwich are okay. Some in pasta? Great. Add to salsa or sauce? You betcha.

Perhaps I like tomatoes because they are the most fruit-like vegetable.. or is that the most veggie-like fruit? Either way, everyone else ought to give them a chance. If I were a tomato, I’d be downright depressed.

Perhaps the better title of this post would be “everyone loves me.” But I thought that sounded a bit too egotistical. It’s true though. I have no enemies. People don’t dislike me. They meet me, they learn about me and they love me.

I think this is because I make their lives better. I listen, I make them laugh, I’m a good friend, sister, daughter, whatever. And people tell me this all the time. It’s amazingly touching. It’s also reaffirming because I always suspect that I am beneficial to others, but that they take the time to tell me proves it.

I am a lot of things, and not all of them are good, but it more than balances out in the end. It makes my life worth living, truly. It makes me glad to wake up in the morning and look forward to tomorrow.

The thing about this is that I don’t really try. I mean, I do, but it’s not like it’s difficult. What could feel better than knowing you’re a positive factor to those that you love — and knowing that everyone you’ve ever loved pretty much agrees — than the knowledge that you’re just naturally good at it?

I don’t know. Maybe nothing better exists, just like my enemies don’t.