I must admit that when people talk about banning gay marriage to preserve the institution of marriage, I am entirely confused as to what the hell that means. It’s not like the one man-one woman ideal has exactly helped the institution. Society has come to a point where people view marriage as something as fleeting. Divorce is seen as an acceptable answer to every little problem. People quit instead of facing the facts: marriage is not for the faint of heart but with a little elbow grease, most problems are fixable.
And if you take a look at why people are getting married, you see that many times the intentions are not what can be considered good. They’re selfish or manipulative. People are marrying for money, legal status, because there is nothing better to do or for power. Sure, some people marry for love but society doesn’t seem to have a bone to pick with those reasons. I mean really, it’s like society has made a mockery of marriage anyway so wouldn’t letting people who want to marry because they love each others and their families actually help preserve this institution? Could just be me, though..
Speaking of families, procreation is often listed as a reason why gay marriage is a bad idea. As if gay people don’t want families? It’s not like they haven’t or won’t jump through hoops to have children and manage parental rights. No straight person would stand for that kind of legal red tape so why is it fair to ask that of gay people? And if procreation is so damned important, then shouldn’t we ban people from marrying who have no plans to or are not able to conceive children?
None of these arguments just make any sense when viewed from a logical perspective.
Sex is neither inherently good or evil, in the same way that no material object is good or bad. Sex, when used incorrectly, can be debilitating and life altering while sex, with good intentions, would be described as some as magical. For some reason, some folks can only see one half of the sex coin. It seems like I know far too many people who are using sex for the wrong reasons.
I know so many women who become obsessed with sex and start to view it as the only thing about them that is appealing which is never the truth. They whore out their bodies in an attempt to feel better about themselves and are surprised, even stupefied, when they still feel just as badly. They try to convince themselves that they are happy or should be but it’s just not the case. I don’t know why people, women especially, do that to themselves. It’s easy to tell that someone who wants you for only sex will dump you as soon as someone better looking, more adventurous, younger etc arrives on the scene.
On the other hand, people use sex to manipulate their relationships. It becomes a tool of power, not something which is shared and meaningful but something which can help you get your way or keep a person in “their place.” Everyone involved starts to see an action which can be beneficial and joyful as negative. Perhaps it makes them angry, resentful or even fearful. This approach shouldn’t really be surprising as sex has been used to control people through the ages and not just by individuals. Certainly the issue of gay rights arises as well as age of consent and religious teachings.
At the end of the day, I cannot look at sex as something which many possibilities, some of which may seem conflicting but none of which are carved in stone.
And I Know Someday That It’ll All Turn Out
You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet
And not just my sister’s favourite colour. It’s my newest musical obsession, I guess. I happened to catch a concert of hers on TV the other day and I was really impressed with how she treated her audience and her show was simply amazing. She puts a lot of effort into it and it’s very entertaining. She also comes off as a very real person.
I remember liking her when she first came out. I liked her brand of “girl power” which, while feminine, has never been.. well, girly. And her songs are just so anthemic of my life right now; so many of them portray my feelings to a T. I guess I never realized how much I like her as an artist.
You know what else? She’s hot. Like, seriously. I’d do her.
I’ve had a lot of conversations lately about Facebook. When I first joined, I liked it a lot because you were only adding people you actually knew and sometimes catching up with old friends. It was at a time when everyone was becoming disenchanted with MySpace which had become flooded with fake profiles and spam. Profiles were cluttered with apps when they first came out on MySpace but they were never as easy or fun to use as Facebook. People were adding friends simply to up their numbers and while I liked the idea of friending bands or other non-personal pages, I have simply given up on checking my requests.
At one point, I made my profile private which actually increased the invitations from people, bands and groups in which I had absolutely no interest. I guess because they couldn’t see my information, they couldn’t see how there was absolutely no logical reason for us to be “friends.”
Now, Myspace has new profile layouts which I don’t feel one way or another about. They confuse me because I do not spend enough time on Myspace to be used to them and there’s still so much crap from sparkly banners to trivia and online casino apps and it’s literally not worth combing through the clutter to find the people or things which might interest me.
Anyway, it seems like Facebook, which started out as the anti-MySpace in many ways has simply become the same thing and lost its appeal. I have been using it more since the design change but it’s just as frustrating and useless now.
I’m in San Antonio now, staying with a friend, and relieved to be away from the stress and drama of home. I enjoyed some warmer weather the first day or so but today is a bit cooler and we’ve even seen some flakes. Of course, it’s nothing I can’t handle and I took a nice walk today, the first long and leisurely walk I’ve had in some time. I definitely feel better and not just because of the walk.
I was sad to leave friends and family, especially because I was no able to see (or see enough) some folks, but circumstances just were not enabling me to be the healthier person I want to be. Samantha is clingy enough as is but, as it turns out, I just could not handle that in my current state.
Plus, the fact that mom has someone living in her house and I had no idea, made things a little awkward. She has a lot of space but not a lot of furniture so I had to borrow an air mattress. I’m glad I was able to but it definitely was not the most comfortable of situations and people constantly made me feel like I was demanding unreasonable things and perhaps I was, given that I just decided to drop in, but I do not believe it is so unreasonable to prefer sleeping in a bed.
Mom has additional drama going on in her life, like everyone else I talked to. There was always gossip to be had and Wausau just seemed like a bubble keeping in the drama and crises and keeping out well adjusted-ness. It was frustrating from the start and it is easy to see where I developed some of my bad habits and it is good motivation to stop those habits and learn new ones (like being on time). I definitely am more appreciative of some of the differences I have experienced from Ryan and other people I’ve met since leaving home.
Home is a funny word. I do not think it is appropriate to call Wausau home anymore. San Antonio is not necessarily home either but I do appreciate all it has to offer a bit more (I guess I became accustomed to living in a bigger city, gasp!). For several years, home has been wherever Ryan is and facing the idea of life without him is a bit scary, especially now that I realize I do not necessarily want to return to the place I left almost 4 years ago. I suppose it’s all an opportunity. That’s the silver lining, right?However, my trip was not all a waste. I spent much time with Samantha and Wendy and was even able to see Ashley while she is in transit to their next duty station. I had a blast with my aunt and cousin, enjoyed some local food, and got to see the seasons changing which is something San Antonio definitely lacks. The wrap things up, Wendy and I drove to Appleton on my last full day to visit the history Museum (which has a Houdini feature), an occult-y store and the mall. We ate in a cute little pub which is supposedly haunted and enjoyed wandering around downtown. The day ended on a good note as we pulled into town with the Numa Numa song playing in the background. You can’t ask for much more than that.
I’ve taken some time to relax and unwind which was definitely needed after my trip, even though it was shorter than I had planned and now I am just taking one day at a time.
Being away from central Wisconsin has allowed me to grow unaccustomed of the way things are done here. On the one hand, that means I have had an opportunity to see how things are done differently elsewhere and by people other than my family. I have and continue to grow away from bad habits. And when the way we do things has proven effective, I can see that, too. Really, there’s almost no negative to growth.
And there is nothing really awful (although, it is quite dramatic and stressful; I wouldn’t be remiss to call it dysfunctional) about being back here in what I used to call “home” and, yet, there’s nothing I really want to return to, either. The local culture just isn’t me, anymore. It’s blue collar. It’s small town/city. It’s everyone-knows-everyone else. It’s a situation and a place which I can respect. People work hard to take care of their families. They make do without complaining because they know that what they have is better than having nothing at all. And there is nothing wrong with that. It’s just someplace I don’t want to return to after having gotten a taste of the world.
And. having had that taste, I want to give it to everyone else, too, so we can all be motivated to do better.
